Pillar 1: Heal. The Cape Wrath Healing Journey. 🌊🕯️

Cape Wrath. Where healing began.

Standing at Cape Wrath, the most north-westerly point of Britain, I realised this was not just a remote landscape battered by storms, it was a mirror of my own life. For years, I had weathered pressures I thought I could simply ignore: a full time teaching job I poured 13 years into, stress I told myself was “just part of the job,” unresolved grief, and patterns carried quietly from childhood.

On the outside, I was functioning. On the inside, I was carrying wounds I hadn’t dared to face. And like many of us, I thought the solution was to push on, distract myself, or “forget.” But here’s the truth I had to learn the hard way: we don’t escape pain by ignoring it. It stays stored in the body, the mind, and the heart until we finally allow ourselves to heal.

Why Healing is the Hardest Pillar

The first of the Five Haian Pillars is HEAL. And it is placed first because, unless we tend to the roots of our pain, we cannot grow into the next stages of transformation.

But healing is the hardest pillar and here is why;

• Because it means looking back at what hurt us.

• Because facing trauma feels scarier than hiding it.

• Because we’ve been conditioned to believe strength means “getting on with it.”

  
  

It’s easier, in the short term, to suppress, numb, or distract with work, with alcohol, with scrolling, with noise. But the nervous system remembers. The body remembers. And eventually, those unresolved wounds leak into every part of life: relationships, work, self worth, even physical health.

The Science of Trauma and Healing

This is where science can shine a light on what is going on behind the role self we portray.

• ACEs (Adverse Childhood Experiences): Studies show that difficult experiences in childhood, neglect, abuse, household dysfunction. Increase the risk of anxiety, depression, autoimmune disorders and even heart disease in adulthood. Trauma is not just “in the past.” It imprints itself on our biology.

• The Nervous System: Trauma creates patterns of hyper-arousal (anxiety, panic, hypervigilance) or hypo-arousal (numbness, fatigue, disconnection). This is why survivors might feel “on edge all the time” or “like the living dead.” It’s not weakness, it is physiology.

• The 6 R’s of Healing (from trauma-informed care):

  1. Realisation: Understanding how trauma impacts people.

  2. Recognition: Seeing the signs of trauma in yourself and others.

  3. Responding: Adjusting how you care for yourself.

  4. Resisting re traumatisation: Not putting yourself back in unsafe cycles.

  5. Relationships: Safe, supportive connections as the foundation for healing.

  6. Resilience: Building the capacity to move forward stronger.

Healing is not just “positive thinking.” It’s the rewiring of the nervous system, the reshaping of patterns, and the reclaiming of energy that was stuck in survival mode.

My Turning Point

For me, the first crack of light came with the urge to leave my full time teaching career of 13 years. On paper, it was secure and respectable. Inside, it was crushing me. My body was showing signs: exhaustion, emotional flatness, stress that no holiday could fix.

That decision to leave wasn’t about running away. It was my nervous system screaming: “you need to heal.” It was my body choosing life over slow burnout.

Cape Wrath, with its endless ocean and harsh cliffs, became the symbol of that truth: sometimes you have to stand at the edge and admit something has to change.

What Healing Looks Like

Healing isn’t a one time event. It’s a practice. A path. And it’s deeply personal. Here are ways it can unfold:

• Body work: Breathwork, yoga, walking in nature, shaking or movement to discharge trapped energy.

• Story work: Journaling, therapy, or safe conversations that allow you to name what was hidden.

• Grief & Release: Letting yourself cry, mourn, and let go of old pain rather than holding it in.

• Self-Compassion: Learning to speak to yourself not with judgement, but with gentleness.

• Nature as Medicine: Stepping outside, grounding, remembering you are part of something bigger.

It’s holistic because we are whole beings. Trauma fragments us. Healing gathers us back together.

A Word to Different Travellers on This Path

• For teenagers: You do not have to carry everything alone. Feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or like you don’t belong doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means you’re human. Healing is about finding safe spaces and voices that help you grow stronger.

• For families and parents: Often, our children’s struggles mirror our own. By facing our wounds and modelling healthy ways to cope, we give the next generation permission to heal earlier than we did. Healing is a family journey, not just an individual one.

• For lost adults: If you’ve ever looked around at your career, relationships, or life path and thought, “Is this it?” know that it’s not too late. The urge to change is often your body’s deepest wisdom calling you back to yourself. Healing can begin at any age, and it’s never wasted time.

  
  

The Cape Wrath healing Journey. A Lighthouse at the Edge

The Cape Wrath healing journey starts at reaching Cape Wrath. It is brutal, wild, and remote, yet it has a lighthouse. That lighthouse reminded me that even in the hardest places, there is guidance and light.

Healing doesn’t erase the storms you’ve faced. It helps you stand taller in them. It helps you see the beauty that can grow from broken ground, like trees and life now thriving in the scars of old coal mines.

So if you are in your own storm, or standing at your own Cape Wrath moment, know this:

• You don’t have to do it alone.

• You are not weak for needing to heal.

• Healing is the first act of true courage.

✨ This is the first pillar: HEAL. Without it, nothing else can stand. With it, you open the path to alignment, inquiry, awakening, and nurture.

🔗 Ready to explore where your healing journey begins? Take the Moonlight Archetype Quiz and see which pillar is calling you first. The quiz can be found by clicking the link at the top of this page.